Steve Jobs

I've been bummed out the past couple of days, I don't know why, just bummed out.

There was a shooter loose in Cupertino, went on a rampage and killed 3 people, injured 7 others, and then eventually was shot and killed himself by police.  May God rest your soul, and I pray for all of those killed and injured in this senseless act.  From all accounts, he was a good man that snapped, lost control.

It was rainy outside, first rain in a long time, cold, time to bring out the jackets and long sleeve shirts.  For us in spoiled California, cold is a bit of rain or wind, and temperatures in the 50s.

While both of those events may have some auxiliary cause for my mood, I think it boiled down to Steve Jobs.  He passed away yesterday at the too young age of 56, same age as my father when he passed.  All of the media, all of the people were obviously saddened by his passing, such a well known, famous, and brilliant guy, of course, people are going to react, and react heavily.  For me, my reaction to his passing is very confusing, I'm wondering myself why in the world my mind thinks in such strange ways.  But, I wanted to write it down, just to try and make some sense of it all.

First and foremost, the guy was 56, same age as my Dad.  He worked too much, just like my Dad.  He probably didn't have time to do much else besides work, it consumed him, and defined his life, just like my Dad.  So, I guess I'm saying that his passing reminded me of my Dad's passing.  A person dying of cancer, dying too young, and dying having lived a full-life, but probably having many years in their 60s, 70s, and 80s and beyond to continue to grow, change, and give to the world.  But, all cut short, because of cancer.

Second, the guy was brilliant, and led a revolution in technology not once, but multiple times.  And people freaking loved the guy, people that had no idea what an electron is, loved the guy.  Non-techies became techies because of the guy, and he branched the divide and made it cool to be a geek or a nerd.  Man, how do you do that?  I honestly think he's the only one of us here in Silicon Valley to achieve that kind of status, it's amazing.  So, to lose a light like that, it's tough, tough for the world, and you see the effects of the media, all the people around, and their messages.  It's like someone super-important passed away, and the world stops for a moment to honor him.

Third, the guy was physically ill, and deteriorated in front of our eyes, over several years.  I can't help but think the root cause of his illness was his stress, his lack of rest, lack of peace and serenity.  I don't know, obviously, but I wonder if he slowed down a bit, would it have been different?  And more importantly, would it have been worth it?  He struck me as a driven guy, an unbalanced guy, that wanted to win at all costs, no matter if it costs him his health.  It's a reminder to all of us to consider balance in our lives, to take time to rest, and rest often, and to always take care of ourselves.

Fourth, the guy gets too much credit.  Man, I can't believe I'm writing that, given the guy just passed away (I'm sorry!), but I really think that's part of my issue dealing with this.  I can't help but think of all of the engineers, people, etc. that he rolled over to get his way.  And all the credit he took for their sacrifice.  I wonder how many school nights, children's plays, dates with spouses, social lives, etc. were missed because of the sacrifice of the select few that made all of Apple happen, and yet when they pass away, it's merely with a whisper.  When it was all said and done, none of it would've been possible if not for the brilliance and dedication of the team of people that thought up the great ideas and helped bring them to reality.  And yet Jobs, and Jobs alone is the guy that gets credit for all of it.  Now, I'm not saying he didn't deserve that credit, he did, but man, it's not like we're standing up and giving the team at Apple that credit when we're holding a iPhone, are we?  I think it's Steve we're all thinking about.

And last, and I think this effects me the most, it's our internet society, and I guess our human nature to value someone famous for their contributions, and somehow measure all of that and have it be meaningful when someone passes away.  I think of Steve's commencement speech at Stanford (the famous one), telling people to live life a certain way, going for it, as you can put it.  But for me, is it really about that?  Is it about making a difference in the world?  Is it about making a fortune, having passion about something?  Or is it about something else?  Is it about being good, taking time out to be nice and compassionate to people?  Is it about giving back humbly and quietly, and going about your business without fanfare or fame?  I honestly don't know, and that's something I continue to search for.  I want to be happy and healthy, that's all I know, and however life leads me to that lofty goal, I'll happily go along for the ride.

Rest in Peace, Steve.  Say hello to my Dad for me, and May God Bless you and family always.