Control

I'm not a control freak, far from it.  But, I had a talk recently with my long time mentor about control and it made me think a little differently about it.  It's easy enough to know right from wrong most times.  You don't do harm to others, you try to be honest, you try to do the right things.  And for the most part, we live our lives that way.  Of course, like anything in life, there's the exceptional cases, where life takes a turn, where you get swept up in helping others, pursuing your fancy, or simply spending time away from your core.  To put it bluntly, to lose a bit of control and focus.  It's when this becomes unbalanced, when it becomes apparent that you're spending too much time away from your core, that it becomes an issue.

So, then the question is, what causes this and how do I react to it?  To me, the cause is very simple, and has been consistent throughout my life.  My reaction, on the other hand, has been something very interesting for me to study and reflect on.  Sometimes, I feel like I don't have any control at all, I simply just react and after several hours of doing whatever, I shake my head an wonder why I spent all that time and energy there, again, away from my core.  I guess I'm a "nice guy", sometimes "too nice" and folks tend to take advantage of that.  That's fine, I'm not worried about that so much.  But, I do wonder about my time and energy, that it can spent more at my core.

My friend who may be reading this, I pray that you find peace in handling these types of situations, become aware of the imbalance that may occur, and react accordingly to bring you back to your core.  And you know what I mean by "core" ... what's most important in your life, whatever that is.

Lent 2012

This Lenten Season is upon us, a time to reflect and review, take inventory of life itself, it's meaning, and how to better it.  Last year during Mass the Sunday before Ash Wednesday, I bought a book called "Lenten Grace" which was put together by Catholic Nuns and Sisters to reflect on each day of Lent.  Each day, they review a passage in the Bible, then discuss it's meaning, then offer a prayer.  I think it's a great way to spend a few moments with God, to stop living so quickly, and reflect on many positive words of wisdom.

Whatever you're "giving up" for Lent, whatever your doing for Lent to honor God, know that there are many that share your journey.  I like to think of this time as something very beautiful and positive, not something restrictive or abstained at all.  To get closer to God, to me, is always what feels best.

I pray for you, my friend, that this Lenten Season and Journey brings you peace and happiness, and positive thoughts and energy.  May God Bless you this season and always, and may you find purpose and beauty in this time and experience.

The Double Helix

The Double Helix

I was asked recently about why I'm kind to other people, often to strangers.  I had to think about it for a while, it's not something that's readily apparent to me.  The engineer in me thought about the commonality that we all have as living beings, and that, biologically, structurally, and chemically at our core, we are essentially the same.  The sympathetic person in me remembered when a Buddhist monk once answered my question about the singular piece of advice he would give to someone regarding happiness.  Something like ... "See other people as having the same core as you, built of the same content, and be compassionate because of that."  It got me thinking that despite our outward differences, the things we can see, hear, and sense, that we are all similar, with similar needs, weaknesses, and longings.

DNA is essentially our core-building blocks as beings, we all know this.  We have a unique signature of infinite combinations of DNA that make us who we are.  The structure of DNA itself is quite remarkable, a double helix.  And when I look at it, I think I see the answer to the initial question of why I'm kind to other people, often to strangers, quite clearly.  I am but one side of the double helix, and any other human being I meet is the other.  Throughout life, our paths cross.  For some, we'll cross often.  For the vast majority of others, we'll cross once or if we're lucky, a few more times in the span of our lives.  So, if that's the case, if I'm only in contact with a like-minded, like-structured being for such a rare time, why not make it a moment of kindness and compassion?

My dear friend who may be happening upon this, challenge yourself to see the goodness in others, and the goodness within yourself.  Maybe finding commonality, instead of finding difference will give you a sense of peace and calm in your life.  Maybe the structure of the double-helix will exemplify life's journey and give you perspective.  And maybe you'll feel better and be better because of it.

I hope this finds you well, my friend.

The Silicon Valley Life

I visited a friend recently at one of the most successful Silicon Valley Companies of all time, and man, I was shocked to see the lifestyle and work life there.  No judgement, no good or bad, just my observations.  People asked me afterwards if I would like to work in an environment like that.  It's tough, I think, and depends a lot on where you are in life, how much you've lived, and your priorities.

Let's just say that life there was Utopian, to say the least.  Talk about the antithesis of George Orwell's "1984" or Fritz Lang's "Metropolis", this place was nuts.  Free cafeteria, snacks, drinks, juice bar ... all the food you could want and more, organic, gourmet, junk food, whatever you want.  Bicycles everywhere, just pick one up and ride.  Valet parking, not only for employees, but for everyone else.  Laundry service, child care, etc.  Outdoor sand volleyball courts, outdoor endless/infinity swimming pools, meditation rooms, etc.  And that was only what I caught or heard about in my brief stay there.

Now, why might you ask, would I NOT want to work there.  Well, for me and me alone, it boils down to something very specific.  It's simply not a realistic lifestyle, and doesn't promote a complete and healthy environment, in my honest opinion.  That may be strong and I apologize in advance for that, but that's my feeling.  If you rely so much on a free-flowing cafeteria for most of your nutrition, you're really saying that you're not going to go grocery shopping, go take the time to pick out the ingredients in your meals, go take the time to prepare them, and hence, those skills will eventually atrophy, like a muscle which hasn't been exercised or used.  And when you're playing volleyball and going swimming in between working crazy hours, all at work, then you don't have time to spend at home, with friends outside of work, with interests outside of work ... heck, just physically being outside of the boundaries of work.  That lifestyle imbalance is like carrying your backpack on your right side for 10 straight years, eventually you'll have a muscle imbalance, which could cause back pain or other complications.  So much time spent living, breathing, sleeping work costs something.  Like the left side of your body, which never bore the burden of the backpack for 10 years, it weakens due to negligence.

So, I think in my own little, humble world, with all of the things done for me by others and all of the things I do for my kids, etc., I keep wondering if I'm better suited to do things myself, learn more about them, and do likewise with my children, have them clean up, make their lunches, do their homework on their own and struggle, etc.  It's an interesting question, because we all can do a little more to work on the "muscles" in our bodies and in our lives that have atrophied over the past many years due to neglect.  I think we'd be stronger as a result.