Man, if there's something that drives me nuts is buying a car. I have to admit, I'm a bit schizophrenic when I deal with cars. On the one hand, I'm very practical, never 'trick out' or 'soup up' my car, get custom anything, or worry too much about status. On the other hand, I really like the art and look and feel of a car, that it's a reflection of me, that I spend each and every day either looking at, cleaning up, driving in, or paying for ... my car.
I've had 5 cars now, each of them brand spanking new. I never could get into a used car, despite the money savings and practicality. I bought (well my Dad did) my first car when I was just 16 years old, it was a sports car, probably a bit much for such a young kid. That car lasted 10 years and I really loved it. My next car, I leased myself. I had a good job and could afford it, and it was really great. It was another sports car, and I loved that as well. The lease ran out after 5 years, so I then leased an SUV, because now I was married and had a young child. When that lease ran out after 4 years, I bought another SUV, and I had been driving that ever since (about 8 years) ... well just a day or so ago.
So, now, I've been in an SUV for the past 12 years, and you get used to the height, weight, heft, and awful gas mileage. So when it was time to get a new car, I really wanted a change. Get some better gas mileage, maybe get a sports car. So, in my duality, the choice came down to a Toyota Prius and a Hyundai Sonata SE. Yes, two totally different cars.
I liked the Prius because of it's popularity, practicality, mileage, and environmental concern. I didn't like the styling, the lack of space, the lack or power, the cost, and the battery concerns. I liked the Sonata because of the styling, value, feature set, engine, spaciousness, and look and feel. I didn't like the name brand, that it was gas powered, and a little 'showy'. In the end, I got the Sonata, I could have either way. It all boiled down to the salespeople and dealership. Whoever earned my business, by treating me just like a good salesperson should, would win out. And the Hyundai folks were low-pressure, easy going, and gave me pretty close to exactly what I wanted. Sure, I bent a little, but in the end, I was very happy.
If you're shopping for a new car, be armed with information. Use the following websites and services to make sure you're getting a good deal.
www.truecar.com : Go here first, so you understand exactly how much people in your area, your regional, and nation pay for your car and features. This is a great site.
www.taxandtags.com : Go here to calculate tax, license, etc. to get an idea of the total cost of your car "out-the-door"
www.carsdirect.com : Go here and if the price looks great, have the rep do the work for you. I did both, actually. I had carsdirect work on finding me a car at their specified price, and I went into the deal armed with that information, as well as the info from the first two sites, and made sure I was inline.
www.kbb.com : Of course, if you're going to trade your car in, check the value so you don't get robbed.
In the end, a little bit of work, saves a lot of money, and gives you the peace of mind that you made an educated and informed decision. And it is interesting in my case, that even with all of the data and numbers, it really came down to something as simple as "how I was treated" by the dealership. I walked into several places, and never got that vibe or connection, that first time slice to tell me yes or no, good or bad. Once I got it, and the numbers worked, I knew I made a great decision.
Peace and Happiness, and happy car shopping ... to all of you! :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thankful
I always seem to "get more spiritual" in challenging times of my life. I guess that's because I'm so busy these days, and when things are going well, I forget to thank God for everything he's done for me. And yet, during my trying times, is when I "ask" God for strength and resolution, but still forget to be thankful.
I was reminded of such behavior by a dear friend, and it made all the difference in the world. When I started to look at my life, and see everything in a bigger picture, I started to see that my trials and tribulations aren't as big as I previously thought, that I had so much in my life to be thankful for.
My challenge is to always be thankful, to see the small things in life, appreciate them and be happy and peaceful, despite whatever chaos or drama there is.
I wish you peace and happiness, as well as a sense of thankfulness in your life, and hope it brings you a moment of calm like it has for me.
I was reminded of such behavior by a dear friend, and it made all the difference in the world. When I started to look at my life, and see everything in a bigger picture, I started to see that my trials and tribulations aren't as big as I previously thought, that I had so much in my life to be thankful for.
My challenge is to always be thankful, to see the small things in life, appreciate them and be happy and peaceful, despite whatever chaos or drama there is.
I wish you peace and happiness, as well as a sense of thankfulness in your life, and hope it brings you a moment of calm like it has for me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Bottle Lady
It's early morning, just like any other. The recycling and trash bins are out, and the hectic day of school begins. Cars race past the crossing guards, children and parents are rushing to their destinations, backpacks flopping on the backs of students as they race along, parents kissing their kids bye-bye and wishing them well.
We have a short walk to the nearby elementary school from our home, and down the edge of our court, we see a lady poking through the recycling bins of the neighbors, and picking out bottles and cans. She's toting a baby carriage (a nice one by the way) strapped with endless plastic bags filled with bottles and cans. My daughter asks me, "Is that legal?" I reply, "I'm sure it isn't, but what's the harm?" And then she says, "Daddy, why don't you give her our bottles and cans in the garage?" I reply, "Great idea!" My daughter is so excited at that prospect, she tells me to run home so I don't miss the bottle lady. Of course, I need to make sure my kids cross the street and are okay, before I go, but my daughter's not thinking of that, just the bottle lady.
So, I race back home, and tell the lady that I have "many" bottles and cans for her, and I give her about 10 bags full of them. She says thank you and carefully places them in her baby carriage.
I remember telling my daughter before she went to school, "Wow, God will bless you today for your act of kindness." She smiled, knowing what I said really didn't come from me, but from someone much higher.
May God Bless You today ... and all days.
We have a short walk to the nearby elementary school from our home, and down the edge of our court, we see a lady poking through the recycling bins of the neighbors, and picking out bottles and cans. She's toting a baby carriage (a nice one by the way) strapped with endless plastic bags filled with bottles and cans. My daughter asks me, "Is that legal?" I reply, "I'm sure it isn't, but what's the harm?" And then she says, "Daddy, why don't you give her our bottles and cans in the garage?" I reply, "Great idea!" My daughter is so excited at that prospect, she tells me to run home so I don't miss the bottle lady. Of course, I need to make sure my kids cross the street and are okay, before I go, but my daughter's not thinking of that, just the bottle lady.
So, I race back home, and tell the lady that I have "many" bottles and cans for her, and I give her about 10 bags full of them. She says thank you and carefully places them in her baby carriage.
I remember telling my daughter before she went to school, "Wow, God will bless you today for your act of kindness." She smiled, knowing what I said really didn't come from me, but from someone much higher.
May God Bless You today ... and all days.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression - Dalai Lama
Beautiful words I came across today...
Countering Stress and Depression
by Dalai Lama on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 2:25am
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression
by Dalai Lama on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 2:25am
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thank you 2010
This year was a challenging for me, lots of changes, lots of issues to deal with, and yet I'm here at the end a better person having gone through it all. I am very grateful for everyone that has touched me this year, and has blessed me with their thoughts, actions, and words. Their kindness and compassion are what fuels my soul, to become a better person.
I pray that 2011 bring you all peace, health, happiness, and joy, and that you all may see the beauty and the wonder that life has to offer.
As for me, I weighed myself this morning and ummm ... I'm absolutely shocked! I'm pretty much a Vegetarian, work out regularly, sometimes intensely, and man, I've picked up a few pounds. It is my wake up call, and I'm definitely gonna do something about it, starting right now. In fact, I just got back from the gym and did an hour's worth of work. Well, anyway, it's all a part of the struggle and process, I'm thankful I have the ability to try and be better.
Happy New Year! Enjoy 2011! And be thankful for 2010!
I pray that 2011 bring you all peace, health, happiness, and joy, and that you all may see the beauty and the wonder that life has to offer.
As for me, I weighed myself this morning and ummm ... I'm absolutely shocked! I'm pretty much a Vegetarian, work out regularly, sometimes intensely, and man, I've picked up a few pounds. It is my wake up call, and I'm definitely gonna do something about it, starting right now. In fact, I just got back from the gym and did an hour's worth of work. Well, anyway, it's all a part of the struggle and process, I'm thankful I have the ability to try and be better.
Happy New Year! Enjoy 2011! And be thankful for 2010!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Lessons Learned - International Travel
Before I forget, I wanted to make note of a few lessons learned from my first international trip in a long while. Thailand, overall, was an amazing experience, but it wasn't without it's issues.
In any case, some friendly reminders:
- Know the difference between "Domestic" and "International" and the interchange, once you get into your destination. My final destination was Chiang Mai, so I had to change airlines (from International to Domestic) when I arrived in Bangkok. Bags, passport check, etc. needed to be done. I gave myself plenty of time to do this, and I knew there were some logistics involved, but next time I'll be better prepared.
- Fill out your Immigration Forms on the Airline, regardless of what the stewardess tells you. Bummer, my stewardness said I didn't need one, which caused me an extra hour delay going through the Passport Control line, filling a card out, and starting all over. Yuck! :)
- Carry a pen with you. Duh! Can you believe I didn't have a pen on me? I guess iPhones don't do everything.
- Don't pack any "warm" clothes. It was the mildest time of year in Thailand, and while it was "cold" for like 5 minutes in the early, early morning or late evening, there was no need for jeans, sweaters, jackets, etc. at all. As far as shoes go, you could get away with sandals and running/walking shoes with no problem.
- Do pack Mosquito and bug repellent and some form of anti-biotic or bug bite medicine. My teacher brought some Jatamansi Essential Oil, and I brought mass amounts of Neosporin, I think they saved my life, because I was in bug bite heaven. :)
- Take Vitamin B supplements to avoid the bugs. A few of the others in my group avoided the bug bites altogether by take mass dosages of Vitamin B. Seems the bugs don't like B's.
- Spend 2-3 days just on your own. I took just 1 more day for myself, which wasn't nearly enough to see the City and the rest that the town had to offer. I should've stayed for at least 2-3 days, so I could relax, take my time, and settle in. Next time.
- Get money from a main bank, since the service charges will be much less. I lucked out and found a major bank ATM to get money. They changed me $5 surcharge, and my bank ended up charging me like $10 in addition, but this was for about $700 US. Other ATMs charge a lot more, so be careful and don't choose a generic ATM.
- At the Bazaar or market, bargain, it's part of the culture. Don't get caught up into how much you're saving, because it'll end up just being a few dollars, but bargain, it's fun. Try this.
- Eye something, let's say a nice handmade hat (for your kids)
- Look at it, not too much emotion, and say "How much?"
- They'll come back right away with a ridiculously high price ... 350 Baht (which is like $12)
- "Wow, so high, nevermind" ... and start walking away.
- They'll come back and say, you offer me and I'll give you a special price
- Now, go back and forth until you get what you want for one hat. I could probably haggle down to 200 Baht in a matter of minutes. Then ask, what about if I buy three of them?
- Go back and forth until you get an even better deal in quantity.
- I got 3 hats (started at 350 Baht each) for 550 for three. That's like $7 each.
- Hey, it's fun and you know they got a good deal anyway because the locals are paying like 50 Baht for one hat. :) But, that's cool, my kids loved those hats and the stories connected with them.
In any case, some friendly reminders:
- Know the difference between "Domestic" and "International" and the interchange, once you get into your destination. My final destination was Chiang Mai, so I had to change airlines (from International to Domestic) when I arrived in Bangkok. Bags, passport check, etc. needed to be done. I gave myself plenty of time to do this, and I knew there were some logistics involved, but next time I'll be better prepared.
- Fill out your Immigration Forms on the Airline, regardless of what the stewardess tells you. Bummer, my stewardness said I didn't need one, which caused me an extra hour delay going through the Passport Control line, filling a card out, and starting all over. Yuck! :)
- Carry a pen with you. Duh! Can you believe I didn't have a pen on me? I guess iPhones don't do everything.
- Don't pack any "warm" clothes. It was the mildest time of year in Thailand, and while it was "cold" for like 5 minutes in the early, early morning or late evening, there was no need for jeans, sweaters, jackets, etc. at all. As far as shoes go, you could get away with sandals and running/walking shoes with no problem.
- Do pack Mosquito and bug repellent and some form of anti-biotic or bug bite medicine. My teacher brought some Jatamansi Essential Oil, and I brought mass amounts of Neosporin, I think they saved my life, because I was in bug bite heaven. :)
- Take Vitamin B supplements to avoid the bugs. A few of the others in my group avoided the bug bites altogether by take mass dosages of Vitamin B. Seems the bugs don't like B's.
- Spend 2-3 days just on your own. I took just 1 more day for myself, which wasn't nearly enough to see the City and the rest that the town had to offer. I should've stayed for at least 2-3 days, so I could relax, take my time, and settle in. Next time.
- Get money from a main bank, since the service charges will be much less. I lucked out and found a major bank ATM to get money. They changed me $5 surcharge, and my bank ended up charging me like $10 in addition, but this was for about $700 US. Other ATMs charge a lot more, so be careful and don't choose a generic ATM.
- At the Bazaar or market, bargain, it's part of the culture. Don't get caught up into how much you're saving, because it'll end up just being a few dollars, but bargain, it's fun. Try this.
- Eye something, let's say a nice handmade hat (for your kids)
- Look at it, not too much emotion, and say "How much?"
- They'll come back right away with a ridiculously high price ... 350 Baht (which is like $12)
- "Wow, so high, nevermind" ... and start walking away.
- They'll come back and say, you offer me and I'll give you a special price
- Now, go back and forth until you get what you want for one hat. I could probably haggle down to 200 Baht in a matter of minutes. Then ask, what about if I buy three of them?
- Go back and forth until you get an even better deal in quantity.
- I got 3 hats (started at 350 Baht each) for 550 for three. That's like $7 each.
- Hey, it's fun and you know they got a good deal anyway because the locals are paying like 50 Baht for one hat. :) But, that's cool, my kids loved those hats and the stories connected with them.
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