Calm and Stillness

I see my youngest daughter and how she deals with stress, and I admire her.  She's amazing, as energetic and funny as you could ask for, as beautiful a human being as I've ever seen, yet as simple and elegant a mind as one could hope and strive for.  Ask her a tough or stressful question, and she'll laugh about it, and say the silliest but most truthful things.  And I sit there, laughing myself, admiring the simplicity and truth of her response.

There's a calm about my youngest daughter that I love.  When she sleeps, she's as calm and as peaceful as the most enlightened person on earth.  And when she plays, she's as carefree and joyous and happy as anyone could imagine.  I love her very much, and I admire her.

For some reason, I'm not so blessed.  Calm and stillness, for me, just like diet and exercise, is a big struggle.  And I'm sure it's the same for many of you.  I know what you're thinking, we have so much more responsibility, so much more to worry about, we don't have time, you can't compare us to a kid ... blah, blah, blah, and whatever other excuse that you or I could throw in there.  Isn't it just that?  Isn't it just a big excuse for us to constantly fall back into stress?  Heck, for me, as a Vegan, and as someone who exercises regularly, who takes great care of himself, it takes so much to even lose 1 lb. of weight.  It's a lifelong struggle.  And in a few moments of weakness, throw those 10 lbs. back on there as fast as you could down a large cheese pizza.  :)  Same thing for calm and stillness.  I strive for this, my daughter's peace, but it's so tough to handle sometimes.

So, what I do?  How do I find it?  Well, I write for one thing.  It's a great release to put down what you're thinking on paper (or computer).  I meditate and pray.  I ask for help, even for just a moment of calm and stillness, to try to connect with God again, and to reassure myself that it will be okay.  I talk, I let out my feelings and emotions to my closest guarded and trusted family and friends.  They are so kind and gentle with me, yet stern in their advice, and I trust and listen to them with great intent.  I seek.  I try to find answers or at least observations, to try find some commonality with others, and what they're going through.  Humans tend to feel better if their stress is shared, and see how others gracefully handle it.  I smile, or at least try to.  Sometimes it's a fake smile, but if I laugh knowing that I'm even trying to fake a smile, the end result is good.  Stay positive in the wake of all of the chaos, don't stand in the way of healing yourself.  And finally, I try to take it easy on myself.  The thoughts, the pain, the anxiety that is internalized is so harmful.  I wouldn't harm an insect, I sidestep snails as I walk because I have so much respect for their life, but sometimes I beat myself up over and over again for essentially nothing.  I have to remember that those actions are essentially like stepping on a bug or snail with malice, and it's simply not helpful.  Be kind to yourself first, this is the start of a path to calm and stillness.

I hope that you find some peace and solace in hearing about my struggles with stress.  If you're in a tough situation, I pray for you with an open heart.  Try to find some time in the day to look in the mirror and smile about what you see.  Do something nice for yourself today, even if it's as simple as taking a walk outside, looking up to the sky, and appreciating the day and the breath of air you deeply inhale and exhale.  And most of all, remember the simplicity and truth of my youngest daugther's disposition, and recall that you were too once a child, with that very same carefree and stress-less mentality.