Expectation

"Expectation kills joy."  I heard a co-worker of mine quote that from some wise person.  Isn't that so true?  When you expect something and don't get it, you're disappointed.  When you expect it, and get it, you're relieved.  When you don't expect it, and get it, you're ecstatic.  But the end result is the same, you got something.

Man, I can remember when I was a 16-years old and I wanted to buy a car.  I talked with my Dad and asked him if I can buy a car, and he said sure, that would be fine.  So, I go out with my Mom and Big Sister and buy a car, literally.  I'm at the dealership when I get a call from my Dad, and he tells me no, you're not getting a car.  So, I was really bummed out.  Here I was, a straight-A student, asked my Dad for permission to buy a car, I'm doing it, and now he's going back on his word?  What's up with that?  I know, I'm laughing about how dumb I was back then.  So, my Dad joins me at the Dealership, talks to me about bargaining and price, etc., and proceeds to get the car for about $5000 less than we were about to pay.  He didn't want to disappoint me, and have this serve as discouragement.  So he bought the car, paid for it all, paid for my insurance and registration, and I was "ecstatic" because it was a new car, or was I relieved because I was expecting it?  Looking back on it now, if I didn't get the car, I would of probably been disappointed for a little bit, but it would've gone away, it's just a car, no big deal.

Same goes today, for people who expect things from you, compare you to other people, compare their wants and needs with others.  If you expect to be treated a certain way, and you don't get it, you will surely be disappointed.  If you remove that expectation from the equation, all kinds of positive possibilities open up, including happiness.  Expectation doesn't have a path to happiness, in my honest opinion.  You grasp for things that can't be attained, and even if you do get them, you're more relieved than happy.

I try to find contentment in my life, see the beauty in what I do have, and not really worry about what I don't have, or what other people have.  I'm truly happy for other people who are more blessed than me, who are better than me, who are happier and healthier than me.  I find it amazing that there are so many people with so much grace and goodness in their lives, and I admire them greatly.  They have things I'll never have, and that's totally fine with me.  The little space of 'stuff' I do have, I'm thankful for everyday.

I struggle with expectation like everyone else, maybe in different ways.  I don't ask for a lot from people, but maybe there are times when it feels that way for others, ways I can't comprehend well.  Maybe I need to consider the expectations I have for myself, and be at peace with that as well.  I'll contemplate that a bit more, do more more introspection.

I wish you a day without expectation, and filled with peace and happiness.