Ahimsa (Non-Harming)

If there was one virtue to follow, I think "kindness" is the greatest of them all, and possibly the most challenging.  In Yoga, it is the first of the five of the abstentions (Yamas), which is the first limb of Ashtanga Yoga.  It is called "Ahimsa" or non-harming.  "Himsa" means "Violence" or "Harm" and the "A" negates it.  To me, this means kindness.

Initially, I thought this would mean "Don't Kill or Hurt Others".  I've always lived my life like that.  In college, when I was looking for companies to work for, I vowed not to work for any company who's end product was meant to kill or harm any living being.  So, missiles, guns, etc. were out, and lots of the military and defense companies that associated with them.  The trigger for me was watching "Platoon" and witnessing the horrors of war.  I have so much respect for the men and women who fight and are subjected to the violence or war, but it simply isn't for me.  I just have a hard time even thinking about harming another being, much less killing someone.

Later, this also moved towards animals, insects, etc.  I sidestep snails on the sidewalk and teach my children to respect life and do the same.  I became a Vegan/Vegetarian because of the harm and maltreatment that I've learned that factory farms cause to animals.  I have a hard time killing ants and spiders, when my family freaks out and sees them.  I'd rather pick them up and let them go, rather than kill them.

In learning more about Ahimsa, and also learning from the Catholic Prayer called "Confiteor," I learned that it's simply not my actions that I need to be wary of.  We Catholics say in most masses the following prayer:

I confess, to Almighty God
and you, my brothers and sisters
that I have sinned through my own fault.
In my thoughts and in my words
in what I have done
and what I have failed to do.
And I ask the Blessed Mary ever Virgin
All the Angels and Saints
and you, my brothers and sisters
to pray for me to the Lord our God.

I've said this all of my life, and it was a epiphany to me to reconcile this with Ahimsa.  It's not only in my actions, but my failure of action, my thoughts, and my words (both spoken and written) that matter.   When I think of this, there's so much harm I inflict in terms of inaction, thoughts, and words.  I know my kids would tell you that my spoken words harm them, especially when emotions get involved.  I often see this as "parenting" but my approach could always be better, softer, and eventually more effective.  My thoughts?  Geez, I think if I was to write down the massive amounts of harmful thoughts that go through my mind, I'd have a one-way ticket to well, you know where.  Yoga and meditation have led me to prayer to God, and hopefully to help quell these harmful thoughts that race through my mind.  Finally, my inaction.  This one is tough, but I do see it.  When I pass by a stranger in need, who needs help.  When I forget to say thank you and show my appreciation, when I forget to call or be considerate of a loved one or friend, those inactions, in the end, are harmful.

The last part of Ahimsa that I'm coming to grips with is the object of the harm.  Of course, all external objects (people, animals, etc.) are there.  But, the internal, yourself, is often excluded from all of this.  When I harm myself, whether that be physically (with abuse via diet, overuse, etc.), mentally, or spiritually, then I am causing massive damage that will eventually lead to externals.  Let me give you an example.  Let's say I have a bad day, I'm bummed out for whatever reason.  I beat myself up over the bad day, might blame myself for whatever reason, go through it over and over again in my head.  I'm beat up, and not in a good mood, not rested, not peaceful.  I go home, see my beautiful kids, who unknowingly push the wrong buttons, and then the harm goes internal to external.  No, I don't whack my kids unnecessarily, I don't go there.  But, my thoughts and words and looks are just as bad, if not worse.  All because of my bad day, and the action of beating myself up for whatever reason.  Of course, I'm full of regret after all that, knowing the kids had nothing to do with my bad day, and definitely didn't deserve what came to them.  In the end, if I practice Ahimsa and Kindness towards myself, and to those who have caused me hurt and harm, I will be a better and more happy person, not only for myself, but for everyone important to me.