Learning

It's been about 2 months (hard to believe) into my 6 month personal training journey, and man, it's been one of the most enlightening experiences of my life.  Talk about on-the-job, on-the-spot, on-the-fly learning.  I'm applying things I learn instantaneously to prospective clients, and folks I'm currently working with, and of course, to my own body and mind.

I've been working out for the past 30+ years, and I'm telling you, for the most part, I was doing everything wrong, backwards, inefficiently, without any scientific backing, without any fundamental knowledge.  Certainly, like any other field, things progress quickly, theories change and such.  And the state-of-the-art certainly is dynamic, especially with all of the advances in science and technology, research and development.

My teacher, who I tend to bother a lot just because of my undying thirst for knowledge, mentioned the following to me:

"Listen to my words of wisdom, and you'll never plateau..."

That stuck to me, because as I mentioned, in 30+ years of working out, I think I hit every plateau (both good and bad mind you) that an athlete (or wanna-be athlete) could hit.

I'm so grateful for this opportunity, so thankful this turn in my life happened, that I could learn and associate with the good people at my new school.  We see each other often, we're quite a tight group, and I know we'll spend lots of time post-graduation together, making a difference in other people's lives.

As I look back at my blog over the past 3 years, I've seen myself grow as a person, try different things, have strong opinions about others.  I see a kid just 3 years ago, with a newly found passion for certain things, some of them quite noble (like Veganism, etc.).  And I see a lot of learning that has happened in the time since.  I am grateful, even for that time, because it has shaped me, it has made me a better student and trainer having experienced and gone through all of that.  It's my life's full experience that I bring with me, into my new possible career path, and that's what makes the difference between having passion, and simply existing.

I pray for you, my friend, that you may find something in learning that will light a fire in your heart and soul, to carry you past all of your indecision and hardship, to push you forward to places you didn't think you could make it to, to never plateau.

Leaving

I've thought about my life a lot the past several weeks, deep rooted heavy thoughts.  What came out of all of that wrangling and hassle was something quite beautiful, something very simple and easy.  If my life ended right now, I would have a lived a full, happy, and blessed life.  It doesn't matter that I experienced hardships, sorrow, pain, disappointment, or whatever shred of negative energy you could throw my way.  I guess we all have that.  But, I experienced God, love, children, family, friendship, travel, success, and all of the other things that life had to offer.  Not sure if any of them mattered more than the other, just feel so blessed to even have a moment of it, to smile for a minute, to laugh for a minute, to cheer for a minute.  It was full, not sad.  It was complete, not unfinished.

I'm heading into some unknown territory health-wise, and being the logical person I am, I have taken as much precaution as possible, getting my things in order in case something catastrophic happens.  I am at peace knowing that everyone will be okay.  Now, the likelihood that anything at all will happen is extremely super-low, likely I'll be fine and live to see the next day, year, decade, etc.  But, just realizing there "could be" an end, makes you feel differently about things.

When my dad passed away nearly 16+ years ago, I was forever changed.  I didn't look at anything the same.  And I guess I may have forgotten that feeling as I've grown up since.  Something these last couple of months swayed me back into that mindset, to tell me to let go, and live life with passion and joy again, and not be held down by negative emotions or energy.  I'm glad I've rediscovered myself through this process, because what I found was the man I knew was always there, one with an open heart and soul, one that is a gift to others.

I am so happy now, and I have lots of people to thank.  My God, my family, my kids, my friends, and everyone else that has helped or touched me these past few years.  To be honest, I've been under a lot of stresses and things that were extremely difficult to cope with, things I didn't even have a clue how to work through.  But, now I'm at peace, happy with everything, just the way it is, no matter what it is, what state it's in, or it's intentions.  I'm at peace because I have been truly blessed to live my life, and I will continue to live it this way forever.

Steve Jobs

I've been bummed out the past couple of days, I don't know why, just bummed out.

There was a shooter loose in Cupertino, went on a rampage and killed 3 people, injured 7 others, and then eventually was shot and killed himself by police.  May God rest your soul, and I pray for all of those killed and injured in this senseless act.  From all accounts, he was a good man that snapped, lost control.

It was rainy outside, first rain in a long time, cold, time to bring out the jackets and long sleeve shirts.  For us in spoiled California, cold is a bit of rain or wind, and temperatures in the 50s.

While both of those events may have some auxiliary cause for my mood, I think it boiled down to Steve Jobs.  He passed away yesterday at the too young age of 56, same age as my father when he passed.  All of the media, all of the people were obviously saddened by his passing, such a well known, famous, and brilliant guy, of course, people are going to react, and react heavily.  For me, my reaction to his passing is very confusing, I'm wondering myself why in the world my mind thinks in such strange ways.  But, I wanted to write it down, just to try and make some sense of it all.

First and foremost, the guy was 56, same age as my Dad.  He worked too much, just like my Dad.  He probably didn't have time to do much else besides work, it consumed him, and defined his life, just like my Dad.  So, I guess I'm saying that his passing reminded me of my Dad's passing.  A person dying of cancer, dying too young, and dying having lived a full-life, but probably having many years in their 60s, 70s, and 80s and beyond to continue to grow, change, and give to the world.  But, all cut short, because of cancer.

Second, the guy was brilliant, and led a revolution in technology not once, but multiple times.  And people freaking loved the guy, people that had no idea what an electron is, loved the guy.  Non-techies became techies because of the guy, and he branched the divide and made it cool to be a geek or a nerd.  Man, how do you do that?  I honestly think he's the only one of us here in Silicon Valley to achieve that kind of status, it's amazing.  So, to lose a light like that, it's tough, tough for the world, and you see the effects of the media, all the people around, and their messages.  It's like someone super-important passed away, and the world stops for a moment to honor him.

Third, the guy was physically ill, and deteriorated in front of our eyes, over several years.  I can't help but think the root cause of his illness was his stress, his lack of rest, lack of peace and serenity.  I don't know, obviously, but I wonder if he slowed down a bit, would it have been different?  And more importantly, would it have been worth it?  He struck me as a driven guy, an unbalanced guy, that wanted to win at all costs, no matter if it costs him his health.  It's a reminder to all of us to consider balance in our lives, to take time to rest, and rest often, and to always take care of ourselves.

Fourth, the guy gets too much credit.  Man, I can't believe I'm writing that, given the guy just passed away (I'm sorry!), but I really think that's part of my issue dealing with this.  I can't help but think of all of the engineers, people, etc. that he rolled over to get his way.  And all the credit he took for their sacrifice.  I wonder how many school nights, children's plays, dates with spouses, social lives, etc. were missed because of the sacrifice of the select few that made all of Apple happen, and yet when they pass away, it's merely with a whisper.  When it was all said and done, none of it would've been possible if not for the brilliance and dedication of the team of people that thought up the great ideas and helped bring them to reality.  And yet Jobs, and Jobs alone is the guy that gets credit for all of it.  Now, I'm not saying he didn't deserve that credit, he did, but man, it's not like we're standing up and giving the team at Apple that credit when we're holding a iPhone, are we?  I think it's Steve we're all thinking about.

And last, and I think this effects me the most, it's our internet society, and I guess our human nature to value someone famous for their contributions, and somehow measure all of that and have it be meaningful when someone passes away.  I think of Steve's commencement speech at Stanford (the famous one), telling people to live life a certain way, going for it, as you can put it.  But for me, is it really about that?  Is it about making a difference in the world?  Is it about making a fortune, having passion about something?  Or is it about something else?  Is it about being good, taking time out to be nice and compassionate to people?  Is it about giving back humbly and quietly, and going about your business without fanfare or fame?  I honestly don't know, and that's something I continue to search for.  I want to be happy and healthy, that's all I know, and however life leads me to that lofty goal, I'll happily go along for the ride.

Rest in Peace, Steve.  Say hello to my Dad for me, and May God Bless you and family always.

Time

I wrote this on my status today:

The greatest resource we have isn't money or power or technology, but time. Time that you spend with the people you love, your family and friends, and all of the people out there that you can touch with kindness and compassion.

It's what I said during my father's eulogy almost 16 years ago. It's deeply personal, and something that changed me forever when I said it back then, and something that reminds me of what's important today.

Sure, sometimes I forget, get caught up in the hectic nature and business of life, my own selfishness, and my priorities change temporarily. But, in the end, it really goes back to those simple words. Time. Time you spend with the people you love, doing the things you love, living life, and being happy. Time. Time you spend with others who can benefit from your touch, from your kindness, from your compassion.

Sure, there are other resources. Air, food, love, etc. But, man, do any of these really matter without time? It's so short, so precious, and so easy to take for granted. And you might be thinking, nah, money's more important, power is more important? Really? I respect that, I have an open mind. But, I tell you, it costs you nothing, it takes zero power to call your mom, your dad, your best friend ... and say hello, or spend a moment with them. It costs you nothing to smile at someone, to say hello, to have compassion for others, and that moment, that time you spend is with you always.

Of course, there's God, there's your faith. The time you spend with God, with your faith ... that's just as important. For me, it's something I never have enough time for, to be with God, have him walk with me, forgive me, lead me and for me to be his humble child, learning always from his grace. I thank God for everything I have, for my life, for the beauty he has surrounded me with, and for the blessed time he has given me.

I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this. That you may find time to realize the importance of this gift we all have, the time we all can choose to spend, however we want, but considering using it to better ourselves, our loved ones, and those in the world who need it most.

Making It Happen

I wrote this today:

"Decided finally to pursue a lifelong dream, and begin to make it happen ... today. Thank God for pointing me the way."

I have been thinking for a long time about what I want to do with the rest of my life, and if you've followed this blog from the beginning, it's been a mish-mash of directions, thoughts, and prayers. All over the place, a big brainstorm, a big experiment, and lots of different and sometimes conflicting thoughts.

As I reflect myself on the past few years, I see big changes in the way I think about things, and how I'm prioritizing my life. The original goal from two years ago remains the same, but tweaked a bit with life's experiences in tow.

One of the biggest things that happened was my choice to become vegan/vegetarian for a long while. I still am "pretty-much" a vegetarian, but I don't like to use those labels anymore. I can eat whatever I want now, and not really worry about it. I do eat meat, but not very often, and I tend to be very open now about people's choices and what they believe about food. I still buy organic, still eat lots of fruits and veggies mostly, probably eat a lot less than I used to overall, and I still exercise quite a bit, albeit with a different routine and focus now.

I think it's all part of evolution, learning, and growing. You try stuff, you see what works for you, you form strong opinions and test them, and then you adjust accordingly as time goes on.

Well, back to my original point, making it happen. I'm going to do it finally. I'm going to set in motion some long term goals I've been laying out for myself, the intersection of my passions. Health, fitness, nutrition, and exercise. And kids. It's going to take a while to do this, but it starts today, with this declaration, with this commitment to get qualified, certified, and gain the experience necessary to bring this vision into fruition. Long term, it's what I want to do, and I think it'll be a life-changing, career-changing event for me. I pray that I can do it, make it happen, and realize this grand vision.

Don't

Usually, I'm very upbeat and positive, sometimes tell myself that "don't" or "can't" isn't in my vocabulary. Well, I need to have a more open mind, because sometime "don't" is good. Here's something I wrote a while back to remind myself to slow down, chill out, and live. It's gives me peace every time I read it.

I hope and pray that these "don'ts" have a positive effect on you, my friend.

Don't waste time
Don't waste energy
Don't waste emotions
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Don't judge anyone or anything
Don't be angry
Don't be jealous
Don't be in a rush
Don't stress out
Don't feel guilty
Don't worry about anything
Don't let random thoughts be anything more than random

Life's Trauma

I've been watching "Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition" and noticed the holistic approach that Chris Powell takes when helping his clients lose the incredible amounts of weight they do over a one-year period. Sure, a lot of it is diet and exercise, as we all know, but Chris takes it a level higher, by focusing in on his clients motivation, as well as their barriers.

Those barriers are something I've thought about recently, their causes and effects. For some of the clients on the show, it was about losing a loved one, having a traumatic experience, or some dramatic event that affected them in a serious way.

Looking back at my life, I see flashes of trauma, events that shaped me, events that changed me, events that continue to haunt me 'til this very day. And while I would love to write them all down here for the world to see, I'm a bit more private and personal than that. But, I do think it's worthwhile to write down all of things that happened to me, that cause me stress and anxiety, write down all of my feelings about them, put it down on paper ... then throw it away to symbolize letting go of it all. And least, that's my thought right now. Sure, those memories will always be with me, and what's important is that I take everything positive from those and keep them close, and throw away everything negative, things that keep me up at night, things that cause me stress and anxiety, and put them away.

I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this entry, to look back at your life carefully and to note what happened, what you may be holding onto with negative energy, and to find a way to find peace with all of it, so your life can be fuller and more enjoyable.