I've been bummed out the past couple of days, I don't know why, just bummed out.
There was a shooter loose in Cupertino, went on a rampage and killed 3 people, injured 7 others, and then eventually was shot and killed himself by police. May God rest your soul, and I pray for all of those killed and injured in this senseless act. From all accounts, he was a good man that snapped, lost control.
It was rainy outside, first rain in a long time, cold, time to bring out the jackets and long sleeve shirts. For us in spoiled California, cold is a bit of rain or wind, and temperatures in the 50s.
While both of those events may have some auxiliary cause for my mood, I think it boiled down to Steve Jobs. He passed away yesterday at the too young age of 56, same age as my father when he passed. All of the media, all of the people were obviously saddened by his passing, such a well known, famous, and brilliant guy, of course, people are going to react, and react heavily. For me, my reaction to his passing is very confusing, I'm wondering myself why in the world my mind thinks in such strange ways. But, I wanted to write it down, just to try and make some sense of it all.
First and foremost, the guy was 56, same age as my Dad. He worked too much, just like my Dad. He probably didn't have time to do much else besides work, it consumed him, and defined his life, just like my Dad. So, I guess I'm saying that his passing reminded me of my Dad's passing. A person dying of cancer, dying too young, and dying having lived a full-life, but probably having many years in their 60s, 70s, and 80s and beyond to continue to grow, change, and give to the world. But, all cut short, because of cancer.
Second, the guy was brilliant, and led a revolution in technology not once, but multiple times. And people freaking loved the guy, people that had no idea what an electron is, loved the guy. Non-techies became techies because of the guy, and he branched the divide and made it cool to be a geek or a nerd. Man, how do you do that? I honestly think he's the only one of us here in Silicon Valley to achieve that kind of status, it's amazing. So, to lose a light like that, it's tough, tough for the world, and you see the effects of the media, all the people around, and their messages. It's like someone super-important passed away, and the world stops for a moment to honor him.
Third, the guy was physically ill, and deteriorated in front of our eyes, over several years. I can't help but think the root cause of his illness was his stress, his lack of rest, lack of peace and serenity. I don't know, obviously, but I wonder if he slowed down a bit, would it have been different? And more importantly, would it have been worth it? He struck me as a driven guy, an unbalanced guy, that wanted to win at all costs, no matter if it costs him his health. It's a reminder to all of us to consider balance in our lives, to take time to rest, and rest often, and to always take care of ourselves.
Fourth, the guy gets too much credit. Man, I can't believe I'm writing that, given the guy just passed away (I'm sorry!), but I really think that's part of my issue dealing with this. I can't help but think of all of the engineers, people, etc. that he rolled over to get his way. And all the credit he took for their sacrifice. I wonder how many school nights, children's plays, dates with spouses, social lives, etc. were missed because of the sacrifice of the select few that made all of Apple happen, and yet when they pass away, it's merely with a whisper. When it was all said and done, none of it would've been possible if not for the brilliance and dedication of the team of people that thought up the great ideas and helped bring them to reality. And yet Jobs, and Jobs alone is the guy that gets credit for all of it. Now, I'm not saying he didn't deserve that credit, he did, but man, it's not like we're standing up and giving the team at Apple that credit when we're holding a iPhone, are we? I think it's Steve we're all thinking about.
And last, and I think this effects me the most, it's our internet society, and I guess our human nature to value someone famous for their contributions, and somehow measure all of that and have it be meaningful when someone passes away. I think of Steve's commencement speech at Stanford (the famous one), telling people to live life a certain way, going for it, as you can put it. But for me, is it really about that? Is it about making a difference in the world? Is it about making a fortune, having passion about something? Or is it about something else? Is it about being good, taking time out to be nice and compassionate to people? Is it about giving back humbly and quietly, and going about your business without fanfare or fame? I honestly don't know, and that's something I continue to search for. I want to be happy and healthy, that's all I know, and however life leads me to that lofty goal, I'll happily go along for the ride.
Rest in Peace, Steve. Say hello to my Dad for me, and May God Bless you and family always.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Time
I wrote this on my status today:
Sure, sometimes I forget, get caught up in the hectic nature and business of life, my own selfishness, and my priorities change temporarily. But, in the end, it really goes back to those simple words. Time. Time you spend with the people you love, doing the things you love, living life, and being happy. Time. Time you spend with others who can benefit from your touch, from your kindness, from your compassion.
Sure, there are other resources. Air, food, love, etc. But, man, do any of these really matter without time? It's so short, so precious, and so easy to take for granted. And you might be thinking, nah, money's more important, power is more important? Really? I respect that, I have an open mind. But, I tell you, it costs you nothing, it takes zero power to call your mom, your dad, your best friend ... and say hello, or spend a moment with them. It costs you nothing to smile at someone, to say hello, to have compassion for others, and that moment, that time you spend is with you always.
Of course, there's God, there's your faith. The time you spend with God, with your faith ... that's just as important. For me, it's something I never have enough time for, to be with God, have him walk with me, forgive me, lead me and for me to be his humble child, learning always from his grace. I thank God for everything I have, for my life, for the beauty he has surrounded me with, and for the blessed time he has given me.
I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this. That you may find time to realize the importance of this gift we all have, the time we all can choose to spend, however we want, but considering using it to better ourselves, our loved ones, and those in the world who need it most.
The greatest resource we have isn't money or power or technology, but time. Time that you spend with the people you love, your family and friends, and all of the people out there that you can touch with kindness and compassion.It's what I said during my father's eulogy almost 16 years ago. It's deeply personal, and something that changed me forever when I said it back then, and something that reminds me of what's important today.
Sure, sometimes I forget, get caught up in the hectic nature and business of life, my own selfishness, and my priorities change temporarily. But, in the end, it really goes back to those simple words. Time. Time you spend with the people you love, doing the things you love, living life, and being happy. Time. Time you spend with others who can benefit from your touch, from your kindness, from your compassion.
Sure, there are other resources. Air, food, love, etc. But, man, do any of these really matter without time? It's so short, so precious, and so easy to take for granted. And you might be thinking, nah, money's more important, power is more important? Really? I respect that, I have an open mind. But, I tell you, it costs you nothing, it takes zero power to call your mom, your dad, your best friend ... and say hello, or spend a moment with them. It costs you nothing to smile at someone, to say hello, to have compassion for others, and that moment, that time you spend is with you always.
Of course, there's God, there's your faith. The time you spend with God, with your faith ... that's just as important. For me, it's something I never have enough time for, to be with God, have him walk with me, forgive me, lead me and for me to be his humble child, learning always from his grace. I thank God for everything I have, for my life, for the beauty he has surrounded me with, and for the blessed time he has given me.
I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this. That you may find time to realize the importance of this gift we all have, the time we all can choose to spend, however we want, but considering using it to better ourselves, our loved ones, and those in the world who need it most.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Making It Happen
I wrote this today:
"Decided finally to pursue a lifelong dream, and begin to make it happen ... today. Thank God for pointing me the way."
I have been thinking for a long time about what I want to do with the rest of my life, and if you've followed this blog from the beginning, it's been a mish-mash of directions, thoughts, and prayers. All over the place, a big brainstorm, a big experiment, and lots of different and sometimes conflicting thoughts.
As I reflect myself on the past few years, I see big changes in the way I think about things, and how I'm prioritizing my life. The original goal from two years ago remains the same, but tweaked a bit with life's experiences in tow.
One of the biggest things that happened was my choice to become vegan/vegetarian for a long while. I still am "pretty-much" a vegetarian, but I don't like to use those labels anymore. I can eat whatever I want now, and not really worry about it. I do eat meat, but not very often, and I tend to be very open now about people's choices and what they believe about food. I still buy organic, still eat lots of fruits and veggies mostly, probably eat a lot less than I used to overall, and I still exercise quite a bit, albeit with a different routine and focus now.
I think it's all part of evolution, learning, and growing. You try stuff, you see what works for you, you form strong opinions and test them, and then you adjust accordingly as time goes on.
Well, back to my original point, making it happen. I'm going to do it finally. I'm going to set in motion some long term goals I've been laying out for myself, the intersection of my passions. Health, fitness, nutrition, and exercise. And kids. It's going to take a while to do this, but it starts today, with this declaration, with this commitment to get qualified, certified, and gain the experience necessary to bring this vision into fruition. Long term, it's what I want to do, and I think it'll be a life-changing, career-changing event for me. I pray that I can do it, make it happen, and realize this grand vision.
"Decided finally to pursue a lifelong dream, and begin to make it happen ... today. Thank God for pointing me the way."
I have been thinking for a long time about what I want to do with the rest of my life, and if you've followed this blog from the beginning, it's been a mish-mash of directions, thoughts, and prayers. All over the place, a big brainstorm, a big experiment, and lots of different and sometimes conflicting thoughts.
As I reflect myself on the past few years, I see big changes in the way I think about things, and how I'm prioritizing my life. The original goal from two years ago remains the same, but tweaked a bit with life's experiences in tow.
One of the biggest things that happened was my choice to become vegan/vegetarian for a long while. I still am "pretty-much" a vegetarian, but I don't like to use those labels anymore. I can eat whatever I want now, and not really worry about it. I do eat meat, but not very often, and I tend to be very open now about people's choices and what they believe about food. I still buy organic, still eat lots of fruits and veggies mostly, probably eat a lot less than I used to overall, and I still exercise quite a bit, albeit with a different routine and focus now.
I think it's all part of evolution, learning, and growing. You try stuff, you see what works for you, you form strong opinions and test them, and then you adjust accordingly as time goes on.
Well, back to my original point, making it happen. I'm going to do it finally. I'm going to set in motion some long term goals I've been laying out for myself, the intersection of my passions. Health, fitness, nutrition, and exercise. And kids. It's going to take a while to do this, but it starts today, with this declaration, with this commitment to get qualified, certified, and gain the experience necessary to bring this vision into fruition. Long term, it's what I want to do, and I think it'll be a life-changing, career-changing event for me. I pray that I can do it, make it happen, and realize this grand vision.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Don't
Usually, I'm very upbeat and positive, sometimes tell myself that "don't" or "can't" isn't in my vocabulary. Well, I need to have a more open mind, because sometime "don't" is good. Here's something I wrote a while back to remind myself to slow down, chill out, and live. It's gives me peace every time I read it.
I hope and pray that these "don'ts" have a positive effect on you, my friend.
Don't waste time
Don't waste energy
Don't waste emotions
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Don't judge anyone or anything
Don't be angry
Don't be jealous
Don't be in a rush
Don't stress out
Don't feel guilty
Don't worry about anything
Don't let random thoughts be anything more than random
I hope and pray that these "don'ts" have a positive effect on you, my friend.
Don't waste time
Don't waste energy
Don't waste emotions
Don't feel sorry for yourself
Don't judge anyone or anything
Don't be angry
Don't be jealous
Don't be in a rush
Don't stress out
Don't feel guilty
Don't worry about anything
Don't let random thoughts be anything more than random
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Life's Trauma
I've been watching "Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition" and noticed the holistic approach that Chris Powell takes when helping his clients lose the incredible amounts of weight they do over a one-year period. Sure, a lot of it is diet and exercise, as we all know, but Chris takes it a level higher, by focusing in on his clients motivation, as well as their barriers.
Those barriers are something I've thought about recently, their causes and effects. For some of the clients on the show, it was about losing a loved one, having a traumatic experience, or some dramatic event that affected them in a serious way.
Looking back at my life, I see flashes of trauma, events that shaped me, events that changed me, events that continue to haunt me 'til this very day. And while I would love to write them all down here for the world to see, I'm a bit more private and personal than that. But, I do think it's worthwhile to write down all of things that happened to me, that cause me stress and anxiety, write down all of my feelings about them, put it down on paper ... then throw it away to symbolize letting go of it all. And least, that's my thought right now. Sure, those memories will always be with me, and what's important is that I take everything positive from those and keep them close, and throw away everything negative, things that keep me up at night, things that cause me stress and anxiety, and put them away.
I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this entry, to look back at your life carefully and to note what happened, what you may be holding onto with negative energy, and to find a way to find peace with all of it, so your life can be fuller and more enjoyable.
Those barriers are something I've thought about recently, their causes and effects. For some of the clients on the show, it was about losing a loved one, having a traumatic experience, or some dramatic event that affected them in a serious way.
Looking back at my life, I see flashes of trauma, events that shaped me, events that changed me, events that continue to haunt me 'til this very day. And while I would love to write them all down here for the world to see, I'm a bit more private and personal than that. But, I do think it's worthwhile to write down all of things that happened to me, that cause me stress and anxiety, write down all of my feelings about them, put it down on paper ... then throw it away to symbolize letting go of it all. And least, that's my thought right now. Sure, those memories will always be with me, and what's important is that I take everything positive from those and keep them close, and throw away everything negative, things that keep me up at night, things that cause me stress and anxiety, and put them away.
I pray for you, my friend, who may be reading this entry, to look back at your life carefully and to note what happened, what you may be holding onto with negative energy, and to find a way to find peace with all of it, so your life can be fuller and more enjoyable.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
The Beauty of Imperfection
I was at a dance recital for my kids this past weekend. All forms of dance, from ballet, tap, contemporary, lyrical, jazz, hip-hop, and the like. It was a festive performance, with dancers of all ages and skill levels.
You know by now that I have a deep passion in working with kids, particularly in the area of fitness. It's my lifelong dream to build a camp for kids, and something that I will pursue with vigor in the near future. The one thing I really love about kids is their freedom, and imperfection.
The first part of the dance recital were the tiniest and beginner students in ballet. They were dressed adorably in white, performed the most basic routines, following their older "teachers" while trying to remain calm and poised amongst all of the laughter and joy of the audience. I found myself in utter amazement watching it all, like I did before when watching kids playing basketball, just for the fun of it. One little girl, had the wrong foot moving each time, while another girl looked at her "teacher" the whole time and was behind by a count or two. And you know what, it was perfect, and beautiful. And as the program progressed and all of the "advanced" dancers performed, now fully synchronized, tight movements, perfect smiles, etc., I couldn't help but recall the beauty and innocence of the first groups. I smiled more, and felt more watching them ... than anyone else that day.
I pray that you find beauty in imperfection, as of course, we have much of it in our lives. I pray that we all learn to appreciate it for what it is, and take joy from it's presence.
You know by now that I have a deep passion in working with kids, particularly in the area of fitness. It's my lifelong dream to build a camp for kids, and something that I will pursue with vigor in the near future. The one thing I really love about kids is their freedom, and imperfection.
The first part of the dance recital were the tiniest and beginner students in ballet. They were dressed adorably in white, performed the most basic routines, following their older "teachers" while trying to remain calm and poised amongst all of the laughter and joy of the audience. I found myself in utter amazement watching it all, like I did before when watching kids playing basketball, just for the fun of it. One little girl, had the wrong foot moving each time, while another girl looked at her "teacher" the whole time and was behind by a count or two. And you know what, it was perfect, and beautiful. And as the program progressed and all of the "advanced" dancers performed, now fully synchronized, tight movements, perfect smiles, etc., I couldn't help but recall the beauty and innocence of the first groups. I smiled more, and felt more watching them ... than anyone else that day.
I pray that you find beauty in imperfection, as of course, we have much of it in our lives. I pray that we all learn to appreciate it for what it is, and take joy from it's presence.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
My True Friends
I've had my close circle of friends many years now, decades in some cases. We don't get a chance to spend the kind of time we used to, because of life's directions, our jobs, our family responsibilities, and the like. This past weekend, my best friend's son turned 4 years old, and a bunch of us got together, after what seemed like forever. And my friends echoed my sentiments as we had a chance to chat, catch up, and talk. "I miss you guys" was the sentence of the day. There is a calm comfort, and sense of being home, a feeling of trust you get from your close friends that is rare these days. I'm my own man, all the time, but when I'm with my close friends, I can let my guard down completely, knowing that whatever I see, whatever my condition is, whatever life takes me, my friends will love me and be there unconditionally. That's the way I have lived my life, with "Unconditional Love". We chatted for just a few hours, but it was priceless to me, and I miss my friends and the unlimited time we used to spend together greatly. I appreciate those days, and the friendships we've built over the years, more than I can imagine.
I pray for you, my friend reading this, that you may be blessed with the joy and privilege of true friendship, that people in and through your life can give you the compassion and kindness that we all yearn for. May God Bless you today and every day.
I pray for you, my friend reading this, that you may be blessed with the joy and privilege of true friendship, that people in and through your life can give you the compassion and kindness that we all yearn for. May God Bless you today and every day.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Are you okay?
Accidents happen, that why we have insurance. And with the mass of cars and vehicles out there, it's just a matter of time before you get into one. Thank God for the times when I've had accidents recently, it's just been the car with the damage, and everyone involved is okay.
Those were the thoughts that was running through my mind when my 3-month old brand-spanking new car got T-boned the other day, side curtain airbags going off. Oh my God, what if my kids were in the car? Oh my God, what if there was a kid in the street between the two cars? On my God, what if there was a baby in the other car, not wearing a seat belt?
After that initial shock and stress, of course, then it came it to my car, and all of the random thoughts associated with material possessions, hassle, etc. Through this all, a little boy walked out from the other vehicle, couldn't have been more than 10 years old, carrying a little notepad to write stuff down. And he says in the most quiet and caring voice, "Are you okay?"
I think he stunned me a bit, by saying that. Usually, people are cussing and swearing and pissed off, and I admit I had some feelings like that, especially not really understanding who was at fault. But, when the little guy said "Are you okay?" it sort of hit my reset button. I calmed down tremendously and said as humanely as possible, "I'm okay, are you okay?" And the little guy said, "Yes, I'm okay."
I think there's a lot to learn here from this, something profound in the simplicity of a child who's initial reaction should be commonplace, but so often isn't in this era of blame, guilt, and accountability. Finances, time, stress, and all don't really matter as much as the simple question, "Are you okay?"
Thank you, my little friend, for you patience, compassion, and kindness. I pray for you, that you find strength always as you did here. You taught me a little something about how to live life right, and how to be a better person with 3 simple and timely words.
Those were the thoughts that was running through my mind when my 3-month old brand-spanking new car got T-boned the other day, side curtain airbags going off. Oh my God, what if my kids were in the car? Oh my God, what if there was a kid in the street between the two cars? On my God, what if there was a baby in the other car, not wearing a seat belt?
After that initial shock and stress, of course, then it came it to my car, and all of the random thoughts associated with material possessions, hassle, etc. Through this all, a little boy walked out from the other vehicle, couldn't have been more than 10 years old, carrying a little notepad to write stuff down. And he says in the most quiet and caring voice, "Are you okay?"
I think he stunned me a bit, by saying that. Usually, people are cussing and swearing and pissed off, and I admit I had some feelings like that, especially not really understanding who was at fault. But, when the little guy said "Are you okay?" it sort of hit my reset button. I calmed down tremendously and said as humanely as possible, "I'm okay, are you okay?" And the little guy said, "Yes, I'm okay."
I think there's a lot to learn here from this, something profound in the simplicity of a child who's initial reaction should be commonplace, but so often isn't in this era of blame, guilt, and accountability. Finances, time, stress, and all don't really matter as much as the simple question, "Are you okay?"
Thank you, my little friend, for you patience, compassion, and kindness. I pray for you, that you find strength always as you did here. You taught me a little something about how to live life right, and how to be a better person with 3 simple and timely words.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Good Times and Bad
"When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
as well as the other."
Ecclesiastes 7:14
but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
as well as the other."
Ecclesiastes 7:14
Monday, April 4, 2011
Blind - Halfway through Lent
Halfway through Lent, and the Gospel this week was about the blind man healed by Jesus. Father Thomas at Mass asked the congregation to close their eyes through the Gospel, to give us an appreciation and feeling for what the man went through, as he was blind from birth. I must say, it was an interesting experience. I could "hear" so many noises and sounds, people chattering, kids clambering, coughs abounding, pages shuffling, etc. I could "feel" my emotions well up when Jesus asked the man, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?" and later replied "You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you." Maybe in my hearing and I feeling, I could "see" what was happening better than if I had physical sight.
As Father Thomas read the Gospel, I couldn't help but think about the message and meaning, how blind I am, and have been in my life. Not like the man who was "physically" blind, for I have been blessed with the gift of sight, but like those who accused and tormented him. Sight is a blessing, and something I strive for and hope for long term. I pray that each of you can take something positive from these words, and from the blind man's experience as well. May God Bless You always.
As Father Thomas read the Gospel, I couldn't help but think about the message and meaning, how blind I am, and have been in my life. Not like the man who was "physically" blind, for I have been blessed with the gift of sight, but like those who accused and tormented him. Sight is a blessing, and something I strive for and hope for long term. I pray that each of you can take something positive from these words, and from the blind man's experience as well. May God Bless You always.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Setbacks
Life isn't perfect. If it were so easy, there would be no need for much of anything, right? I'm beginning to wonder what makes life so complicated sometimes. Getting older, seeing what's happening around me, seeing my friends and family go through drama, it all reminds me how imperfect life is. So, it begs the questions, what do you do about it? What do you ask for? What do you want?
For me, it's been a long term struggle, dealing with setbacks. I'm inherently a very positive and upbeat person, but I have my moments, I have my struggles with setbacks, just like everyone else does. I think my biggest problem is that I over-think, hyper-analyze, over-do my setbacks. I let my mind race a million miles an hour over the reasons and justifications, the solutions that don't exist, and the problems that likewise, don't really exist.
I'm sure I'm not alone...
I did learn something the other day, when I was reading/listening to the Bible. We're in the middle of Lent, so it's a good time for this reflection. It was about King Solomon (Kings 3:5-14).
In my prayers when I have setbacks, this is something to consider. Ask for wisdom and compassion and kindness, and a good discerning heart, instead of asking for my problems to simply vanish or be solved. In my humility, I am granted peace, which in the end, is all I am searching for.
For me, it's been a long term struggle, dealing with setbacks. I'm inherently a very positive and upbeat person, but I have my moments, I have my struggles with setbacks, just like everyone else does. I think my biggest problem is that I over-think, hyper-analyze, over-do my setbacks. I let my mind race a million miles an hour over the reasons and justifications, the solutions that don't exist, and the problems that likewise, don't really exist.
I'm sure I'm not alone...
I did learn something the other day, when I was reading/listening to the Bible. We're in the middle of Lent, so it's a good time for this reflection. It was about King Solomon (Kings 3:5-14).
5 At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”
6 Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.
7 “Now, LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. 8 Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. 9 So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”
10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. 11 So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, 12 I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. 13 Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both wealth and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. 14 And if you walk in obedience to me and keep my decrees and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.”
In my prayers when I have setbacks, this is something to consider. Ask for wisdom and compassion and kindness, and a good discerning heart, instead of asking for my problems to simply vanish or be solved. In my humility, I am granted peace, which in the end, is all I am searching for.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent - Day 1
For the first time in 43 years, I'm going to observe and experience Lent. Not so much "go through it" like I have in the past, but really take the time to reflect and focus on something more meaningful personally.
Matthew 6:1-16 are the readings for today, Ash Wednesday, which mark the beginning of Lent. The readings are profound in that some advice is plainly laid out. Humility and Generosity, first and foremost, and their combination. When you give, do so without attention, do so quietly. When you pray, pray privately and quietly. When you fast, don't let everyone know you are doing so.
There's a quiet confidence and peace coming from those words, and as I write this "publicly" in my blog today, it's really meant for my personal reflection and not to broadcast to all, more like a diary I suppose. I am thankful for this time and these precious moments.
Matthew 6:1-16 are the readings for today, Ash Wednesday, which mark the beginning of Lent. The readings are profound in that some advice is plainly laid out. Humility and Generosity, first and foremost, and their combination. When you give, do so without attention, do so quietly. When you pray, pray privately and quietly. When you fast, don't let everyone know you are doing so.
There's a quiet confidence and peace coming from those words, and as I write this "publicly" in my blog today, it's really meant for my personal reflection and not to broadcast to all, more like a diary I suppose. I am thankful for this time and these precious moments.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Luke 6:37-38
Do not judge, and you will not be judged.
Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Give, and it will be given to you.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Shay
Thank you to my dear friend Joe R. for this story:
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered ...a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other... children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered ...a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other... children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?' The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning..'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Open My Eyes Lord
Open my eyes, Lord.
Help me to see your face.
Open my eyes, Lord.
Help me to see.
Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear your voice.
Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear.
Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love like you.
Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love.
And the first shall be last,
and our eyes are opened,
and we'll hear like never before.
And we'll speak in new ways,
and we'll see God's face
in places we've never known.
I live within you.
Deep in your heart, O Love.
I live within you.
Rest now in me.
Help me to see your face.
Open my eyes, Lord.
Help me to see.
Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear your voice.
Open my ears, Lord.
Help me to hear.
Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love like you.
Open my heart, Lord.
Help me to love.
And the first shall be last,
and our eyes are opened,
and we'll hear like never before.
And we'll speak in new ways,
and we'll see God's face
in places we've never known.
I live within you.
Deep in your heart, O Love.
I live within you.
Rest now in me.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Coins
So, part of getting a new car and trading in my old one, was emptying out all of the contents, as I said goodbye. Yes, it's a car, but it was with me for 8 years. :)
Well, a big part of the contents of my old car was the spare change I had kept putting in a little compartment near the gear box. After 8 years, that's a lot of coins.
I put all of those coins in a bag, and also placed a bunch of other coins that were scattered about the house, and asked my kids to help me count them. Wondering what to do, I thought I'd simply donate the whole lot, and give it to the Church. Then, I started thinking about a story in my mind, I wanted to capture the thoughts here.
"There once was man who was greedy, and hoarded money whenever he could. He traveled around with a large backpack, and whenever he could, he was collect coins and put them in his backpack. He would pass along lots of folks begging for money and help, but he never gave. He simply kept walking, kept finding more spare change, and kept adding to his collection, on his back, in his backpack. One day, the backpack became so heavy, he hurt himself, and he was stranded. He couldn't walk any farther, couldn't carry his burden any longer. And it occurred to him, had he given that money away, he wouldn't have had this burden, and probably would have many people walking with and helping him live life along the way."
So, I'm going to take this "bag of coins", drop in into the local Coinstar and donate the proceeds to Church. I'm sure there will be plenty of people that would benefit from it, much more than I, and this burden will be lessened as well.
May peace and happiness be with you, and may generosity find it's way into your heart and soul.
Well, a big part of the contents of my old car was the spare change I had kept putting in a little compartment near the gear box. After 8 years, that's a lot of coins.
I put all of those coins in a bag, and also placed a bunch of other coins that were scattered about the house, and asked my kids to help me count them. Wondering what to do, I thought I'd simply donate the whole lot, and give it to the Church. Then, I started thinking about a story in my mind, I wanted to capture the thoughts here.
"There once was man who was greedy, and hoarded money whenever he could. He traveled around with a large backpack, and whenever he could, he was collect coins and put them in his backpack. He would pass along lots of folks begging for money and help, but he never gave. He simply kept walking, kept finding more spare change, and kept adding to his collection, on his back, in his backpack. One day, the backpack became so heavy, he hurt himself, and he was stranded. He couldn't walk any farther, couldn't carry his burden any longer. And it occurred to him, had he given that money away, he wouldn't have had this burden, and probably would have many people walking with and helping him live life along the way."
So, I'm going to take this "bag of coins", drop in into the local Coinstar and donate the proceeds to Church. I'm sure there will be plenty of people that would benefit from it, much more than I, and this burden will be lessened as well.
May peace and happiness be with you, and may generosity find it's way into your heart and soul.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Cars
Man, if there's something that drives me nuts is buying a car. I have to admit, I'm a bit schizophrenic when I deal with cars. On the one hand, I'm very practical, never 'trick out' or 'soup up' my car, get custom anything, or worry too much about status. On the other hand, I really like the art and look and feel of a car, that it's a reflection of me, that I spend each and every day either looking at, cleaning up, driving in, or paying for ... my car.
I've had 5 cars now, each of them brand spanking new. I never could get into a used car, despite the money savings and practicality. I bought (well my Dad did) my first car when I was just 16 years old, it was a sports car, probably a bit much for such a young kid. That car lasted 10 years and I really loved it. My next car, I leased myself. I had a good job and could afford it, and it was really great. It was another sports car, and I loved that as well. The lease ran out after 5 years, so I then leased an SUV, because now I was married and had a young child. When that lease ran out after 4 years, I bought another SUV, and I had been driving that ever since (about 8 years) ... well just a day or so ago.
So, now, I've been in an SUV for the past 12 years, and you get used to the height, weight, heft, and awful gas mileage. So when it was time to get a new car, I really wanted a change. Get some better gas mileage, maybe get a sports car. So, in my duality, the choice came down to a Toyota Prius and a Hyundai Sonata SE. Yes, two totally different cars.
I liked the Prius because of it's popularity, practicality, mileage, and environmental concern. I didn't like the styling, the lack of space, the lack or power, the cost, and the battery concerns. I liked the Sonata because of the styling, value, feature set, engine, spaciousness, and look and feel. I didn't like the name brand, that it was gas powered, and a little 'showy'. In the end, I got the Sonata, I could have either way. It all boiled down to the salespeople and dealership. Whoever earned my business, by treating me just like a good salesperson should, would win out. And the Hyundai folks were low-pressure, easy going, and gave me pretty close to exactly what I wanted. Sure, I bent a little, but in the end, I was very happy.
If you're shopping for a new car, be armed with information. Use the following websites and services to make sure you're getting a good deal.
www.truecar.com : Go here first, so you understand exactly how much people in your area, your regional, and nation pay for your car and features. This is a great site.
www.taxandtags.com : Go here to calculate tax, license, etc. to get an idea of the total cost of your car "out-the-door"
www.carsdirect.com : Go here and if the price looks great, have the rep do the work for you. I did both, actually. I had carsdirect work on finding me a car at their specified price, and I went into the deal armed with that information, as well as the info from the first two sites, and made sure I was inline.
www.kbb.com : Of course, if you're going to trade your car in, check the value so you don't get robbed.
In the end, a little bit of work, saves a lot of money, and gives you the peace of mind that you made an educated and informed decision. And it is interesting in my case, that even with all of the data and numbers, it really came down to something as simple as "how I was treated" by the dealership. I walked into several places, and never got that vibe or connection, that first time slice to tell me yes or no, good or bad. Once I got it, and the numbers worked, I knew I made a great decision.
Peace and Happiness, and happy car shopping ... to all of you! :)
I've had 5 cars now, each of them brand spanking new. I never could get into a used car, despite the money savings and practicality. I bought (well my Dad did) my first car when I was just 16 years old, it was a sports car, probably a bit much for such a young kid. That car lasted 10 years and I really loved it. My next car, I leased myself. I had a good job and could afford it, and it was really great. It was another sports car, and I loved that as well. The lease ran out after 5 years, so I then leased an SUV, because now I was married and had a young child. When that lease ran out after 4 years, I bought another SUV, and I had been driving that ever since (about 8 years) ... well just a day or so ago.
So, now, I've been in an SUV for the past 12 years, and you get used to the height, weight, heft, and awful gas mileage. So when it was time to get a new car, I really wanted a change. Get some better gas mileage, maybe get a sports car. So, in my duality, the choice came down to a Toyota Prius and a Hyundai Sonata SE. Yes, two totally different cars.
I liked the Prius because of it's popularity, practicality, mileage, and environmental concern. I didn't like the styling, the lack of space, the lack or power, the cost, and the battery concerns. I liked the Sonata because of the styling, value, feature set, engine, spaciousness, and look and feel. I didn't like the name brand, that it was gas powered, and a little 'showy'. In the end, I got the Sonata, I could have either way. It all boiled down to the salespeople and dealership. Whoever earned my business, by treating me just like a good salesperson should, would win out. And the Hyundai folks were low-pressure, easy going, and gave me pretty close to exactly what I wanted. Sure, I bent a little, but in the end, I was very happy.
If you're shopping for a new car, be armed with information. Use the following websites and services to make sure you're getting a good deal.
www.truecar.com : Go here first, so you understand exactly how much people in your area, your regional, and nation pay for your car and features. This is a great site.
www.taxandtags.com : Go here to calculate tax, license, etc. to get an idea of the total cost of your car "out-the-door"
www.carsdirect.com : Go here and if the price looks great, have the rep do the work for you. I did both, actually. I had carsdirect work on finding me a car at their specified price, and I went into the deal armed with that information, as well as the info from the first two sites, and made sure I was inline.
www.kbb.com : Of course, if you're going to trade your car in, check the value so you don't get robbed.
In the end, a little bit of work, saves a lot of money, and gives you the peace of mind that you made an educated and informed decision. And it is interesting in my case, that even with all of the data and numbers, it really came down to something as simple as "how I was treated" by the dealership. I walked into several places, and never got that vibe or connection, that first time slice to tell me yes or no, good or bad. Once I got it, and the numbers worked, I knew I made a great decision.
Peace and Happiness, and happy car shopping ... to all of you! :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thankful
I always seem to "get more spiritual" in challenging times of my life. I guess that's because I'm so busy these days, and when things are going well, I forget to thank God for everything he's done for me. And yet, during my trying times, is when I "ask" God for strength and resolution, but still forget to be thankful.
I was reminded of such behavior by a dear friend, and it made all the difference in the world. When I started to look at my life, and see everything in a bigger picture, I started to see that my trials and tribulations aren't as big as I previously thought, that I had so much in my life to be thankful for.
My challenge is to always be thankful, to see the small things in life, appreciate them and be happy and peaceful, despite whatever chaos or drama there is.
I wish you peace and happiness, as well as a sense of thankfulness in your life, and hope it brings you a moment of calm like it has for me.
I was reminded of such behavior by a dear friend, and it made all the difference in the world. When I started to look at my life, and see everything in a bigger picture, I started to see that my trials and tribulations aren't as big as I previously thought, that I had so much in my life to be thankful for.
My challenge is to always be thankful, to see the small things in life, appreciate them and be happy and peaceful, despite whatever chaos or drama there is.
I wish you peace and happiness, as well as a sense of thankfulness in your life, and hope it brings you a moment of calm like it has for me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Bottle Lady
It's early morning, just like any other. The recycling and trash bins are out, and the hectic day of school begins. Cars race past the crossing guards, children and parents are rushing to their destinations, backpacks flopping on the backs of students as they race along, parents kissing their kids bye-bye and wishing them well.
We have a short walk to the nearby elementary school from our home, and down the edge of our court, we see a lady poking through the recycling bins of the neighbors, and picking out bottles and cans. She's toting a baby carriage (a nice one by the way) strapped with endless plastic bags filled with bottles and cans. My daughter asks me, "Is that legal?" I reply, "I'm sure it isn't, but what's the harm?" And then she says, "Daddy, why don't you give her our bottles and cans in the garage?" I reply, "Great idea!" My daughter is so excited at that prospect, she tells me to run home so I don't miss the bottle lady. Of course, I need to make sure my kids cross the street and are okay, before I go, but my daughter's not thinking of that, just the bottle lady.
So, I race back home, and tell the lady that I have "many" bottles and cans for her, and I give her about 10 bags full of them. She says thank you and carefully places them in her baby carriage.
I remember telling my daughter before she went to school, "Wow, God will bless you today for your act of kindness." She smiled, knowing what I said really didn't come from me, but from someone much higher.
May God Bless You today ... and all days.
We have a short walk to the nearby elementary school from our home, and down the edge of our court, we see a lady poking through the recycling bins of the neighbors, and picking out bottles and cans. She's toting a baby carriage (a nice one by the way) strapped with endless plastic bags filled with bottles and cans. My daughter asks me, "Is that legal?" I reply, "I'm sure it isn't, but what's the harm?" And then she says, "Daddy, why don't you give her our bottles and cans in the garage?" I reply, "Great idea!" My daughter is so excited at that prospect, she tells me to run home so I don't miss the bottle lady. Of course, I need to make sure my kids cross the street and are okay, before I go, but my daughter's not thinking of that, just the bottle lady.
So, I race back home, and tell the lady that I have "many" bottles and cans for her, and I give her about 10 bags full of them. She says thank you and carefully places them in her baby carriage.
I remember telling my daughter before she went to school, "Wow, God will bless you today for your act of kindness." She smiled, knowing what I said really didn't come from me, but from someone much higher.
May God Bless You today ... and all days.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression - Dalai Lama
Beautiful words I came across today...
Countering Stress and Depression
by Dalai Lama on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 2:25am
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
Countering Stress and Depression
by Dalai Lama on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 2:25am
At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.
Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.
However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.
I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem
Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.
Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.
As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.
This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.
A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.
The Dalai Lama
December 31, 2010
Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011
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